My Daughter Wants To Be A Police Officer

Last night as I sat down on the couch and my daughter occupied herself with toys from her toy box she said to me, "Mommy, I want to be a police officer." As the mixed emotions ran through me I responded, "A police officer?" She said back excitedly, "Yes. A police officer. I want to take bad people off the streets." At this point I am truly at a loss for words. I asked, "Who told you to be a police officer?" I had assumed that clearly someone must have had this conversation with her or that someone gave her this idea. It could not possibly come from her own little brain. She's 3 for crying out loud. She laughed and said, "Nooooo, Mommy. No one told me that. It's what I want to be." So I said to her, "Did you tell your Dada?" She said, "Not yet. Call him now so I can tell him." As the phone rang I couldn't help, but to think about all the other careers she can have. My baby? A police officer? In this day? No way. Her father answers the phone while it's on speaker. Immediately, while still preoccupied with her toys, my daughter yells, "Dada, I want to be a police officer!" And immediately he says, "No! You will not be a police officer. You will be a doctor." Then she says, "I'll be a doctor and a police officer!"

I sighed the greatest sigh of relief, then laughed. She's 3. She wants to be everything right now I thought to myself. But if she gets older, and pursues a career as a police officer, as a mother I will support her, but as an overprotective parent I fear for her well-being with such a profession.

As parents do we have the right to tell our children what career or profession they can and cannot pursue?

I choose to support my baby in whatever she chooses, well, as long as it's something positive. But I don't see me dictating which profession she chooses.

I Had to Ask Myself

At My Lowest

Summer 2016 I was out of a job, past due on bills, approaching my last year of undergrad with not even a dollar to my name. My whole life was about to change--a complete 180. I remember crying every day for an entire month. I didn't know who to call, I didn't know who to confide in, who to ask for help, and I didn't know what to do. I just cried. I cried and mentally prepared myself for being evicted out of my apartment, my car being repossessed, giving up on school, and moving into a shelter with my daughter because my pride would not allow me to seek help from my family who are in no predicament to help. I was hopeless. I was afraid. I felt I had done all I could do and that the only thing left to do was to stop fighting the odds that were against me, and accept that I am chasing a life that simply wasn't for me.

No Where to Go but Up

But then something happened. One day I just stopped crying. One day I realized that there had to be more I could do. May not have been what I wanted to do, what my pride would allow me to do, but there was more I could do. I had to remind myself that I did not work so hard and made it so far to just give up. I had to remind myself that my daughter deserved more, but most importantly I deserved more. I did not want to be a victim any longer. So I stopped crying, and I fought.

The Hard Part

In fighting I had to ask myself a lot of tough questions. I had to do things I had never done, things I never wanted to do. "How did I get here...How did I let myself down...What can I do to not remain here...Do I really want better for myself...Don't I deserve better...Is there more that I can do...Why am I not doing more...What do I want...How can I get it...What is my purpose...What am I passionate about...Do I have what it takes to fight..." Every day I had to dig deep, ask questions, and figure out what was my problem and why was I allowing these problems to rob me of the life I am so close to having.

The Solution

I remember reading self-help books and watching motivational clips online from various life coaches and motivational speakers. Specifically Eric Thomas. Here is one video in specific that change my entire outlook on my situation and my life:

The Outcome

After 2 to 3 weeks of reading, watching motivational clips, praying, and fasting, I made calls. I asked for help. I required more of myself. I got out of my comfort zone. I did more with my time. I was proactive and aggressive. I stopped playing the victim. I let go of my past and all the things that was done wrong to me. I trusted God. I let go of all excuses. I fought. I believed that if I really did all there was to do there was no way I wouldn't make it out of that situation. I made up my mind that I would never get so low again. I guaranteed myself that I would never let myself down again.

It Pays Off

Within a week and a half I was blessed with 2 months rent, I had 3 job interviews in which I was offered all three positions, my best friends volunteered to help me with my daughter unitl I got on my feet and finished school, and my entire mentality went from pessimistic to optimistic. I owed myself more than what I was giving me. I didn't cry anymore. No, this does not mean all challanges and odds vanished. It simply means my mindset changed, and improved for the better. And I now know that within me is the power to be and do whatever I want to become and whatever I want to achieve.

Now Ask Yourself

What is stopping you from being exactly who you want to be or going exactly where you want to go? Is it the people around you hindering you, the things that have happened to you setting you back, or is it you?

As a Mother I Just Can't Boycott PepsiCo

Last week people went crazy because of a Pepsi commercial which they felt disrespected and downplayed the seriousness of protesting and social injustice issues. The commercial featured the famous and wealthy Kendall Jenner, that in itself created problems for people, but the commercial in it's entirety offended so many with the exception of me. Watch the commercial clip first, and I'll explain just why it didn't offend me:

 



I Get It

 

As a black woman, as a young adult, as a college student, as a single mother, as a citizen that is below the poverty level for a 2 person household in the US I understand the importance of protesting and I value and consider myself a part of the fight against social injustices for all people and groups of people, not just the ones I am a part of. I get it. Social injustices are a daily struggle for many different groups and races of people across the globe. Protesting is something that should not be taken lightly. I.Get. It.

 

What I Don't Get It

 

Questions and complaints I read these past several days which included, but are not limited to: "Really, a privileged white girl had to take the lead role", "Mocking protest is distasteful", "Why not fight against a specific social injustice", "There are not enough black people", "So a can of Pepsi is supposed to bring forth world peace and end all social injustices", and lastly "Pepsi just lost my business; total disrespect".

 

The Intent

 

I highly doubt that Pepsi intentions were malice. I doubt that the idea was not thoroughly thought through; I actually believe that they were confident and hopeful in their support of protesting, encouraging viewers to be heard, and not be remaining victims of social injustices. I honestly, truly saw the commercial and smiled. Because what I saw and still see is Pepsi promoting peaceful protest and unity among all people. However, most people even celebrities saw different.

 

Tweet from R& B Artist Trey Songz:

 

 Tweet from Bernice King, daughter of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr:

 

 Again, I do believe Pepsi's intentions were good. They are not illustrating that a can of Pepsi will somehow end social injustices or stop police brutality or bring about peaceful protest. No. They just wanted to display their support as it pertains to the social injustices taking place in the world. I felt this way prior to the statement they gave in regards to the backlash.

 

My responses to The Shade Room's post on Instagram where people across the world expressed themselves in the comment section (TessForShort is me):

 

 

Meanwhile, consumers were so upset that they planned to boycott PepsiCo:

 

Pepsi's Statement:

 

 

 

Why I Refuse to Boycott Pepsi

 

It's simple. The message I got from the commercial was the exact positive message Pepsi was trying to convey. I feel no ways offended or disrespected. Besides, my daughter and I love Mountain Dew, Quakers Oatmeal, and Doritos too much to boycott PepsiCo. I am all for peace and unity and making a difference and promoting change in love & light. That is what I saw in the Pepsi commercial. So guess what, ISSA supporter. And as long as my daughter is living under my roof and eating the food I provide, she will remain a consumer also. As a working, college mom I stand firm in my perspective and beliefs.

The Joys and Pains of Being a Working, College Mom: Intoduction

 

7 years ago, if someone told me I would be a working, college mom today I would have become very offended. Not only offended, but defensive. I would have responded something along the lines of, "I'm never having kids! I am certain I'll spend my entire life making all of my dreams come true, and giving back to my community." But here I am. Still striving to make my dreams come true, but with a full-time job, as a full-time undergraduate student, and a 3 years old daughter.

There are joys and pains of being a working, college mom with no husband, no father, a mother who is up in age, and siblings who all have their own lives and children. As a mother I do not regret my daughter, but I sometimes wish that I waited to have her at a more appropriate time in my life. My mother told me something when I was pregnant that I literally have to tell myself at least once a day to keep me going, "You are not the first woman to have a child when you feel you weren't ready, a child without a husband; and you will not be the last. Anything you wanted to do, anything you wanted to be before this baby, you can still become."


Day in and day out, I strive to be everything I want to be and do everything I want to do for the sake of me and my daughter's well-being and our happiness. Also, for the sake of what I believe my purpose and my passion is--giving back to my community; encouraging and inspiring women, and especially children that face everyday challenges and obstacles in life. The hard part is simply that it is just not enough hours in a day or enough energy within me to do everything effectively and successfully. This only means that some aspects and areas of my life will lack, at least until I find balance.

Most times it's school where I slack the most. I value my education. I love learning. If I did not have to work for a living and raise a daughter, I'd probably spend my days earning degrees, living in paradise reading, listening to music, and blogging in my spare time; however, in real life it just will never workout that way for me. So school is a must, but what is more important than school? Having a roof over me and my daughter's head and food on our table. So work is the aspect of my life where I am the most effective and dedicated because without making my own money, there is no means of survival. Back to the point, school lacks the most. Work is priority one along with my daughter, and then there is my family and friends.



If I could sum up in one word what it is like being a working, college mom I would. But I cannot. So if you're reading this, take this journey with me until I earn my masters or even my doctorates, and I will sum up what it is like being a working, college mom with all the words in my vocabulary. I am certain I can use every last one to describe the experience. Here it goes. Until next time.