I Had to Ask Myself

At My Lowest

Summer 2016 I was out of a job, past due on bills, approaching my last year of undergrad with not even a dollar to my name. My whole life was about to change--a complete 180. I remember crying every day for an entire month. I didn't know who to call, I didn't know who to confide in, who to ask for help, and I didn't know what to do. I just cried. I cried and mentally prepared myself for being evicted out of my apartment, my car being repossessed, giving up on school, and moving into a shelter with my daughter because my pride would not allow me to seek help from my family who are in no predicament to help. I was hopeless. I was afraid. I felt I had done all I could do and that the only thing left to do was to stop fighting the odds that were against me, and accept that I am chasing a life that simply wasn't for me.

No Where to Go but Up

But then something happened. One day I just stopped crying. One day I realized that there had to be more I could do. May not have been what I wanted to do, what my pride would allow me to do, but there was more I could do. I had to remind myself that I did not work so hard and made it so far to just give up. I had to remind myself that my daughter deserved more, but most importantly I deserved more. I did not want to be a victim any longer. So I stopped crying, and I fought.

The Hard Part

In fighting I had to ask myself a lot of tough questions. I had to do things I had never done, things I never wanted to do. "How did I get here...How did I let myself down...What can I do to not remain here...Do I really want better for myself...Don't I deserve better...Is there more that I can do...Why am I not doing more...What do I want...How can I get it...What is my purpose...What am I passionate about...Do I have what it takes to fight..." Every day I had to dig deep, ask questions, and figure out what was my problem and why was I allowing these problems to rob me of the life I am so close to having.

The Solution

I remember reading self-help books and watching motivational clips online from various life coaches and motivational speakers. Specifically Eric Thomas. Here is one video in specific that change my entire outlook on my situation and my life:

The Outcome

After 2 to 3 weeks of reading, watching motivational clips, praying, and fasting, I made calls. I asked for help. I required more of myself. I got out of my comfort zone. I did more with my time. I was proactive and aggressive. I stopped playing the victim. I let go of my past and all the things that was done wrong to me. I trusted God. I let go of all excuses. I fought. I believed that if I really did all there was to do there was no way I wouldn't make it out of that situation. I made up my mind that I would never get so low again. I guaranteed myself that I would never let myself down again.

It Pays Off

Within a week and a half I was blessed with 2 months rent, I had 3 job interviews in which I was offered all three positions, my best friends volunteered to help me with my daughter unitl I got on my feet and finished school, and my entire mentality went from pessimistic to optimistic. I owed myself more than what I was giving me. I didn't cry anymore. No, this does not mean all challanges and odds vanished. It simply means my mindset changed, and improved for the better. And I now know that within me is the power to be and do whatever I want to become and whatever I want to achieve.

Now Ask Yourself

What is stopping you from being exactly who you want to be or going exactly where you want to go? Is it the people around you hindering you, the things that have happened to you setting you back, or is it you?